Yes, 10 steps back not just one. Before Charlotte started Kinder I commented to my Mum that She may need to stay here at our home with Charlotte on Mondays (my supposed work day) rather than taking Charlotte back to her place.

Now did I bring that into existence with my thoughts or was I just being a tuned in Mum? Maybe a mixture of  both.

Anyway, last Monday Charlotte was beside herself verging on hysterical once She hopped into Mum’s car. She had
an iron grip on me and no matter what was said, She wasn’t going to let go and everytime I tried to prise her hands off me, She clung even tighter. Ouch! And cried uncontrollably with panic written all over her face.

Leaving Is Usually Smooth

Mostly, Charlotte goes off quite well to Mums. She looks sad at times, but goes without too much fuss nonetheless. After trying to negotiate for maybe 10 minutes I asked Mum if  She could stay at our place whilst I got some work done. Mum was not happy and commented that Charlotte has me wrapped around her little finger. I said ‘And so She should have, She is only 4 yrs old!’ It is so rare for Charlotte to be that upset, so I wasn’t about to ignore her. She even verbalised that I was hurting her feelings and making her sad.

If  it was a friend or family member or any adult for that matter, I would not be ignoring their feelings, so why should I ignore my daughters feelings during these incredibly informative years?

So we stayed here at home. Needless to say, my day was not so productive and it didn’t help matters that I have been unwell for over a couple of weeks now. Nearly better, then suddenly went downhill again. That is partly why my blogging has been at a standstill, too. Niggly headaches don’t get better when looking at a computer screen for too long. But that’s another story.

Making The Most Of A Tricky Situation

Next day was Kinder and Charlotte was asking not to go. She commented on the big group. Large groups are just not her thing. I insisted that we do go along and we arrived later during playtime rather than mat time. Getting away from Kindergarten was nigh on impossible for me. Eventually, Charlotte was playing happily with the teacher sitting close by and I said I would go and sit in the car. I managed to catch up on some knitting and it was lovely sitting under a beautiful, big, old Elm tree. A couple of times the teacher came to the window with Charlotte in her arms, waved, then they went away.

After the 1/2 hour that I told Charlotte I would be away for, I went back in, She saw me, but continued to play on.

Next day, I could see we were going to struggle and I was not feeling good, so going into battle was not on my agenda. I needed to get to a Chiropractic appointment, so we didn’t go to Kinder.

Homeschool Here We Come

I’m still determined to keep trying, but in the meantime we have connected with the best bunch of  Homeschooling families at an outing to a favorite little spot of mine called Walhalla. I have met some of the women and children before, but this felt like an even stronger bond forming.

The reason I mention this is because, at the end of the day we will be Homeschooling Charlotte and if the Kindergarten thing doesn’t work out after next term, it is not the end of the world. There are lots of  Homeschool activities organised and I feel very accepted and supported. I’m excited because this year my intention was to nurture the Homeschool contacts and it is starting to happen nicely. I need it as much for Charlotte as I do for myself.

Would you be as patient in the same situation or would this really test your mettle? It does test mine, I’m not completely calm about it, but for the most part I have been empathetic to Charlotte’s needs and intend staying that way. I think She’ll be a better person for it.

photo credit: iskir

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