Labelling

I’m having troubles with my ‘new’ computer, so it is currently being reloaded. I intended doing a post here last night, but it was in the too hard basket. Besides, a funny thing happened. I fell to sleep with my daughter which isn’t unusual in itself, but normally I awaken not long after and get up to do some work. Last night however, I awoke spot on midnight, so you could say, I was in bed before midnight for a change, but it wasn’t my bed. So, I actually got up at midnight, but 1/2 hr was all I could cope with.

I want to chat about labelling tonight and not the kind that you sew onto articles of clothing. I’ve never liked the term ‘terrible two’s. It just, to me, feels like we are putting children in a box before they’ve been out in the world and there’s an expectation for that behaviour, so our kids probably take it on board in a subliminal way and display what is expected of them at different ages.

Charlotte didn’t go through the ‘terrible two’s’ or threes or fours for that matter. She just had and has challenging and non challenging behaviour with every age. Labelling will take place all too soon in a childs life, so they surely don’t need to hear these labels from the people they need to trust the most.

Anyway, when someone commented to me quite innocently yesterday that She thought Charlotte was doing the 4 yr old thing, I was quick to comment that I don’t like popping labels on people. Not just Charlotte, but anyone and I still have to keep myself in check with it, too. As much as I’d like to be perfect, I am not. lol. The particular behaviour in question is something that Charlotte has been displaying for a couple of yrs, so it was easy to kick that comment in the butt. I believe it is Charlotte’s way of combatting shyness. She can get an air about her, but She is also trying to be more grown up than She really is which comes across in a certain way.

I was surprised to learn not long after our brief discussion that the said person is studying to become a Counseller. Hmmm, She may have to review a few things first, but the process of learning to become a Counseller usually has an element (large for some) of personal growth. She was also quick to comment that She has worked with children a lot. Well, ditto for me. A large chunk of my life you could say has been in caring for others kids.

Now don’t go misinterpreting me, either. I do know, having looked after children for a living, that different ages are more likely to display certain behavioural patterns and it always surprises me that some little people ways are almost guaranteed, but if people must use labels, why not make them uplifting, focussing on the positives particularly if using them around that child? I’m just throwing it out there for you to think about.

I find Motherhood challenging and awesome like any Mother and this is a reminder to myself as much as anyone, to focus more on the positives. Somedays it’s hard to do that, as in today or at least this afternoon. We had a difficult time together. I’m a bit of a grumpy thing at times especially lately and desperately want to turn it around. I know of some things to help with that, but implementing them is another story.

So there you have today’s spiel. Just think before labelling, especially children, because you might just get what you expect.

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