Since my last post which was somewhat cathartic for me, I’ve decided to really start helping myself by flooding my mind with uplifting, LOA (Law Of Attraction) webinars, podcasts, video’s & books along with doing my homework for my Ebay training which is also run by a couple of inspiring folks and Aussies to boot. More on them at a later date. You name it, I want to listen to it and read it if it’s uplifting and/or has some educational value.

I have always loved reading autobiographies and wondered what makes people tick. Why are some folks wildly successful and others (myself included) strugglers and stuck? They seem to find their pot of gold in more ways than one. I don’t have the answers here, but I’m certainly learning some from other people

I’m sick of struggling and feeling stuck. For many years I’ve felt unfulfilled in life even when I’m doing amazing things. I’ve travelled the world and the old saying ‘wherever you go, you take yourself with you’ seems so appropos. In other words, my depression and way of relating in the world doesn’t go just because I’m travelling the world! And, no, I wasn’t ‘running away’. I was just living life and not so successfully at times. I won’t be too hard on myself.  Most people probably have some things they would do differently if they could revisit the moment. (more…)

I’d like to give a warm and excited welcome to 2012! Happy New Year to everyone reading this.

It’s now day 3 in my neck of the woods and I have a pretty good feeling about this year. Having a cheque coming from America from some Amazon Affiliate sales AND selling some things on Ebay to take me into the new year, is a pretty good omen financially speaking.

I can honestly say last year was my most unhappy year ever and although I’m not out of the woods emotionally by any stretch of the imagination, I have always (okay, NEARLY always, well here and there. lol. ) had a sense that I am living into a much better life once my inside world comes to terms with being slapped down again and again and once I’m ‘used to’ single motherhood. You have to get rid of the old, unsupportive energy coming from people and although the circumstances for doing so were and still are, extremely painful, I still know it is my time.

I’m heading up to 50 in approximately 17 months and it’s important to take the right people with me into the next phase of life. Some unsupportive people are unfortunately, still having to be in my life but I will keep them on the periphery as best as possible. Well, it’s just one person rather than some people really. I’m trying to be diplomatic for God knows what reason but it’s my blog so I’ll write what I want to aswell! lol. (more…)

Do you just look at your kids sometimes and become overwhelmed by their beauty? I did tonight whilst Charlotte was sleeping. She’d just awoken very restless and in tears which happens once every blue moon, then She fell back to sleep.

Sleeping treasure

Her little cheeks were red, lips full and big, blue eyes were closed (almost). Her eyelids weren’t quite shut and I could see Charlotte’s eyeballs through the slits. I’m just gobsmacked when I look at her and that’s not just tonight or only when She’s sleeping, of course. Our children are so precious and at the moment with all the life changes for us, it doesn’t take much to move me to tears.

Charlotte had her 6th birthday a few days ago and suddenly She’s so much more grown up. She was always at the very least, 2 yrs ahead of her time. One of those children that everyone said from birth including the nurses “Has been here before”. I used to look at my little bundle and always felt that She was so much older. It was an odd feeling, I can tell you, particularly when Charlotte had such a pixie face. People would ask which part of the garden She came from. Now that She’s 6, She seems to be going on 8 or 9 all of a sudden! (more…)

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve started writing over the past couple of months and just stopped. I’m currently adjusting to a new life, unexpected in the way it happened and somewhat unwanted, as I’ve  been tossed carelessly into the world of single Motherhood to 5 year old Charlotte which began on Valentines Day. Yep, that’s what I thought and think too! It’s a huge roller coaster of a ride and the learning curve is massive. The only way I can look at it through the deep, emotional pain is to take it as an education and some of  it will only enhance life as a business woman and on a personal level.

My friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers are unbelievably caring, helpful and acknowledging and I am able to lean on them. I also seem to be attracting the absolute right people into my life. Even Government agencies that I have to deal with are extremely helpful and understanding. Of course they can’t all be there in the middle of the night (that would make things a little crowded!) when I’m feeling dreadful but that’s probably a good thing for them at least.

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Today is oppressive outside with smoke from fires that are miles away just hanging in the air, so it’s good to be indoors writing!

I mentioned a tiny bit in my last post about my partner not being able to eat certain foods. Before his stent operation he was given instructions from his doc to stop eating carbohydrates,  fatty meat & drinking alcohol. Fish & skinless chicken or turkey are fine. Once Peter is down to a manageable weight, he can start back on minimal carbs. and a bit of red wine is apparently quite healthy for you.

One of our meals. Not too shoddy!

Peter took the challenge on with gusto and his weight loss took place quite quickly. He’s lookin’ good. There are a  few kilos to go, but he will get there. People always have something to say about no carb/low carb diets. People always have something to say about anything really. Yes including me sometimes but I try to keep an open mind.  There seems to be a weight loss diet to suit everyone and at the end of the day if it works and you feel better for it, then you need to listen to your own body and go with it. I am not advocating going against your doctor or health practitioners advice here. Please don’t ignore their wisdom.

You do have to have a balanced diet and I see what Peter is eating now. And me by the way although in smaller quantities being a smaller person. I do enjoy these meals so much and have been known to go back for seconds. (more…)

At last!

After weeks of  waiting ‘The stent op’ took place  successfully today. I’m writing this at home after a very emotional day not helped in any way by my conversations with Peter into the wee hours (3 AM), then being woken again at 5 AM by little Miss Charlotte. Not for long, but woken out of a deep sleep.

Peter phoned the hospital BEFORE leaving this time. Highly recommended! We were able to leave later  for a midday booking rather than 10 AM. Once again, it was a hassle free journey and not raining this time which also made life on the road a fair bit easier.

Peter was whisked away quickly with me in tow for the pre meds, but after that things slowed down somewhat.  At least we knew the operation was going to happen. I kept asking Peter if  he felt dopey yet and his comment was ‘No more than usual’. I guess he could also have responded with “I don’t think dopey would like me feeling him”. Bad joke but I need the light relief at the moment! And it’s my blog so I’ll write what I like. lol. (more…)

Zucchini and two varieties of tomato. Part of the bounty from our garden

I got today’s blog inspiration whilst weeding and harvesting some of our veggies from the back garden last night. We just love going ‘shopping ‘ in the back yard. We also grow silverbeet, corn which doesn’t seem to be faring aswell this year perhaps due to the unusual tropical conditions in our part of Australia. We grow snowpeas or mange tout as they can be known. Plus different herbs : fennel, Vietnamese mint, chamomile (which is pretty to look at but I haven’t ever used it) & lavender for potpourri and to display in our vases.

Almost ready for our first harvest of grapes

The driveway is about to get messy.

AND we grow fruit which is dotted about the place : the grapes on the front porch and plums far too close to the driveway are not quite ready, but we’ve had some lovely rasberries and the thornless blackberries are ready but too bitter to eat. Maybe next year will be the year for them. Our blueberries are slow and the Gojiberry tree isn’t going anywhere, but you never know. It seems to be just hanging in there however lemons & limes are abundant!

I just came across this website called Aussie Gardening. Seems to have a lot of great resources.  I’ve only skimmed over it and will have to revisit. Enjoy and I hope you get inspired to grow your own fruit and veggies. It really is a rewarding way to live.

Charlotte with the youngest of  her two older brothers. A surprise playmate for a short while today.

caught midair

Star jumping out of the frame

Visit 5minutesformom for more Wordless Wednesday pics

Yesterday was a really big day. Not sure if my partner was more nervous than me or the other way around. I think he might have been given he was the one going ‘under the knife’.

We’d waited a few weeks, Peter had done all the tests required and finally the day came for his stent operation. We headed off early for the Medical Centre which is over an hours drive away. An easy drive ’cause we managed to miss peak hour traffic plus finding a car park on site is not a problem and reasonably cheap. Even if it was costly, I’d pay for the convenience, though.

We literally walked in the door and Peter’s phone rang. It was the hospital saying the op had to be postponed until next Monday. There must have been an emergency. It does state in the notes that this can happen and you pray it doesn’t, but….it did. But really, just as we had arrived? Arrgghh! What a let down. There’s a lot of anticipation & angst around any sort of op but particularly one relating to the heart. (more…)

Don’t continue on if spiders freak you out.

I was pulling out some chamomile on my own which is just under our grape vines in the front garden. It grows like crazy and was looking a bit bedraggled now that the flowers are almost finished. When in full bloom it’s pretty as a picture and it grows like wildfire, so it’ll be back. The only way to get rid of the weeds that intertwine themselves with the chamomile is to rip the lot out! Ruthless, I know.

Charlotte turned up to help me and suddenly pointed to a spider right where I was about to step to pull the plants & weeds which meant I possibly could have had a reasonable sized spider crawling on me. Something like the one when I was driving in the car the other day! Insert shivers here! Peter flicked that one off me, but towards Charlotte in her car seat. Arrgghh! I managed to pull the car over and found it, flicked it out (I can’t kill things easily) and off we went.

The spider Charlotte discovered today took my breath away it’s so beautiful, so in I charged to grab my camera which is like another limb for me. I snapped a few good shots which don’t look as great when small unfortunately but you can get an idea. I’m now  looking at a book of  Australian spiders, old as the hills but well used and the book just popped open at the page displaying our spider.

It is sometimes called an Orchard spider. Deaths Head spider is another term and Bird Dung spider. I’ll go with Orchard spider thanks very much.

Wolf spider

Not long after there was a Wolf spider running about. Not quite as attractive. Okay, nowhere NEAR as  attractive and way more difficult to photograph, but I managed one shot that turned out reasonably well.